Defiance 0, Brain 1

Ah, finally the brain wins out. I have decided after much prayer and supplication that I can do without the vapor cigs and the regular cigs. I know, I only did it for a couple of months and it was just stubbornness that I was doing it in the first place. How stupid is that?

It got me to thinking...How many things do we do for the sake of doing it and how many do we do for the sake of our logic and spiritual ideals? I must admit that at the ripe young age of 60, I've been acting like a stupid kid. I was doing it because I thought it would make me look 'cool'. When I looked closely in the mirror, I only looked like an old lady being an idiot. I'm not saying all people look like idiots doing things, I'm just saying I did.

When we practice to do things to impress others, all we end up doing is disappointing ourselves and Heavenly Father. I'm getting myself back into church activity and also starting to read the Book of Mormon again. For me, that's a pretty good start. I felt that I would be a total hypochondriac if I didn't drop the cigarettes and the vapors. Besides, I've not been able to taste things in over two months. No wonder most of the people I know who smoke don't eat a lot. Why eat if you can't taste it?

I'm grateful that the what if in the back of my mind won't happen. What if I really do get addicted? What if I get cancer from this? What if my lungs fail me....What if what if what if....you know the story. Anyway, I'm not saying that cold turkey works for everyone, but if it worked for my mom, it can work for me. I was always thinking about having a vape. I kept getting upset if one of my smokes ran out and I had to exchange it for a fresh top. I even got to point of getting irritated when I had to charge the body of the vapor cigarette. I wasn't really addicted, I just wanted to show off. Shame on me. Now, if I go outside to visit and be with my family and friends, I'll be visiting, not just showing off. If they didn't know that, they were the only ones who didn't.

I'm grateful once again to Heavenly Father who continually sends the Holy Ghost knocking on my heart and in this case, my head for me to wake up. As for my other vises, one at a time. They will go away as well.



Making a change for the better is always a good choice. No matter what category it's in. I know that some day, we human types will join Heavenly Father and not have to deal with these worldly temptations. Grateful always....Jan