I feel blessed

As I lay down to sleep last night I got to thinking how blessed i am. God has been with me all month. The Holy Spirit has been so strong that I could barely speak or breathe. I'm so grateful for all the blessings that have been poured upon us since we moved to Utah. Sometimes, it feels so wonderful that my heart swells to twice its size and I am overwhelmed with emotion.

Heavenly Father is always grateful when one of his children comes back to the rod of iron and begins to cling to and follow its path. He is glad for his lost sheep, finding their way home. I find that the decisions I make really have kept me more positive and less fearful of what is in store for all of us. He guides us when we do right but is also ever present when we slip up. He knows all his children and loves us all the same.

I know the church is true. I know that God lives and loved us enough to sacrifice his only son, Jesus Christ, for our sins. I know that Thomas S Monson is a Prophet of God. I know the scriptures are made for us to serve as a guide and example for us to follow. I know that if we heed the council of our leaders that we will be blessed. We just received a new Bishop and his councilors. They are called of God. They will lead us in the way we should go.

Yes, I am blessed also with a good family. Wherever they may be. I'm blessed to know that they are trying to follow the advice we receive every day. I pray that we as a huge family of God's children will heed his council and share this wonderful Gospel that we are blessed with. I only hope and pray for all the sick and afflicted that they may obtain the help they need to get better. That includes animal and human alike.

Please be or become a follower of Christ. Join in the jubilee celebration of his sacrifice for us. Share his wisdom and knowledge with all you know. I pray that these words will be blessed with a following of my friends and family. I also pray that all those who need help will obtain it. I pray again for all sick and afflicted to receive the help and love they need to go on. I wrote these words in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Sitting in Church

As I sit in church today, I am humbled. Humbled by the people who sit around me, by their faith and never ending devotion to this wonderful gospel we have. I look around and see people I know who have grown up, grown old and grown strong in the faith. I see new families branching from other families, new members gaining a testimony of the truth. My heart is full today of the spirit and I can't help but cry in my heart for the gratitude I have. I know that I am doing the right thing and one step at a time, I will be fully enveloped in the church and I pray that I am even slightly worthy of the things that Heavenly Father has provided to me. 

I pray that we all strive to serve Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. That we share our testimonies to all around us, friend and foe, young and old, learned and ignorant. I pray that the church will grow and prosper in the Lord and that we as its people will expound, exhort and share it withh everyone everywhere. God's love be with you always.

A sister in Christ, Jan

Blessed day

What a wonderful day it is. The skies are clear and the weather is gorgeous. Heavenly Father provides us with so much to be thankful for. Today, Dodi, Kathy and I head to Redmesa, CO to take care of some business for Suzie. It's going to be an awesome visit with family and friends. I'm already missing Gary and Ms Cee Cee but it is worth it just for the beauty and the opportunity to be with people I haven't seen in awhile. We are taking a casual drive, stopping to take pictures and enjoy God's natural paintings.

Heavenly Father gives us so much to be grateful for, our families, friends, faith and our health as well. He helps us take every chance we can to share our feeling and testimony of his true church. I know today is a great opportunity to share my thoughts and I know that we are being prompted by the Holy Ghost when we do. May your day be awesome and that you can be thankful and ever grateful for what is provided to us.

A Better Day

It sure is beautiful out today, here by the Wasatch Front. I'm beginning to understand what people like about the mountainous areas of Utah. Though the weather will soon change, it's really nice here. You can tell the seasons. It gives me a feeling of old fashioned values and simple life antics. God really blessed us when we came here and for this, I am truly grateful. 

My life, these past few months has been good and bad. Though the good outweighs the bad. It was the bad that I learned from. Taking time out from being who I really can be, I've found how easy it is to just follow the crowd and take the road that's wider. Sometimes these roads look exciting and inviting. It makes us do things we think are fun at the time. We find out later that it gets harder to change direction as the road narrows and our 'car' can't maintain the same speed or control. Turning around takes a wide berth and a good steady mind. God gives us these things through prayer and supplication with him. He makes us aware that we are the ones holding ourselves back, not family, friends or those long gone. As mentioned in my mind during the session of church this morning while I listened to Russell M. Nelson, we are our own worst enemy. Our guiding angels don't have time to judge us. They are hear to help guide us. Family members who have past are doing the Lord's work. They are not spending time casting stones at us for our unfortunate life choices. Though I'm sure they would be happier if we made better decisions, they are a busy lot, sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with those who haven't had the opportunity to hear it before hand. I realize for myself that my latest decisions were made to show off. The loss of weight was a good thing but for heavens sake, I'm getting older, why show off the bags and wrinkles. Time to wear the more modest clothing befitting my age and attitude. Though I will admit to keeping comfortable in the privacy of my own home, no more tight pants and tank tops in the public eye. Does the patio count? Cee Cee and I are up here watching the children play in our complex, and Ms Cee Cee us contributing to the noise level. As I sit here and write my thoughts, I am continually reminded of how I can share my testimony more with you.

Elder Nelson also mentioned that we shouldn't follow unauthorized doctrine and to be careful of the blogs we follow. As a writer of blogs, I can assure you that I will not attempt to lead you in a path of questionability. My purpose is only to share my feeling and the prompting of the spirit. I know my Father lives. I know he loved his son, Jesus Christ so much that he sent him down to sacrifice his life for ours. I know that Jesus atoned for our sins and wants us back with him and Heavenly Father. I know without a doubt that this the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the one and only true church on this earth. I know that we have a lot of uphill battles to overcome these next few years. The time could be a few to a hundred years, but in God's eyes, it is but a short time. I know that I am sealed and married to the best man in the world. I want everyone to know how much I love my husband and how much I honor him by being the best wife I can be. I'm no "Fascinating Woman" but I do what I can ( see book Fascinating Womanhood written back in the fifties, depicting the Leave it to Beaver, June Cleaver type of housewife). I know he (my husband) holds the Priesthood of God and I honor and respect his calling as husband and provider. I know we are here in Utah for a reason, even if it is to only get our lives on track, once again. I know God loves me and wants what is best for all of us. 

I know I love all my friends and family, no matter your race, religion, affiliation or whatever. I'm grateful for all I have and all I don't have. It humbles me to know that God loves us so much. It humbles me to understand how things have progressed these last few years especially. Those of us who have issues, let us pray that we can overcome them. We cannot wait until the last days. It's Saturday and almost midnight. Get things in order people.... Love yourself enough to change for the better no matter how you believe. Let us pray and share our testimony of Jesus Christ with everyone we know. Let us pray for the sick and afflicted that they can become better as God's will allows. Remember that we all have burdens and can overcome them through prayer and supplication. Be there for you. Be there for your friends and family. Mostly, be there for our Heavenly Father and his son, our elder brother, Jesus Christ. I love you all very much...Jan

Defiance 0, Brain 1

Ah, finally the brain wins out. I have decided after much prayer and supplication that I can do without the vapor cigs and the regular cigs. I know, I only did it for a couple of months and it was just stubbornness that I was doing it in the first place. How stupid is that?

It got me to thinking...How many things do we do for the sake of doing it and how many do we do for the sake of our logic and spiritual ideals? I must admit that at the ripe young age of 60, I've been acting like a stupid kid. I was doing it because I thought it would make me look 'cool'. When I looked closely in the mirror, I only looked like an old lady being an idiot. I'm not saying all people look like idiots doing things, I'm just saying I did.

When we practice to do things to impress others, all we end up doing is disappointing ourselves and Heavenly Father. I'm getting myself back into church activity and also starting to read the Book of Mormon again. For me, that's a pretty good start. I felt that I would be a total hypochondriac if I didn't drop the cigarettes and the vapors. Besides, I've not been able to taste things in over two months. No wonder most of the people I know who smoke don't eat a lot. Why eat if you can't taste it?

I'm grateful that the what if in the back of my mind won't happen. What if I really do get addicted? What if I get cancer from this? What if my lungs fail me....What if what if what if....you know the story. Anyway, I'm not saying that cold turkey works for everyone, but if it worked for my mom, it can work for me. I was always thinking about having a vape. I kept getting upset if one of my smokes ran out and I had to exchange it for a fresh top. I even got to point of getting irritated when I had to charge the body of the vapor cigarette. I wasn't really addicted, I just wanted to show off. Shame on me. Now, if I go outside to visit and be with my family and friends, I'll be visiting, not just showing off. If they didn't know that, they were the only ones who didn't.

I'm grateful once again to Heavenly Father who continually sends the Holy Ghost knocking on my heart and in this case, my head for me to wake up. As for my other vises, one at a time. They will go away as well.



Making a change for the better is always a good choice. No matter what category it's in. I know that some day, we human types will join Heavenly Father and not have to deal with these worldly temptations. Grateful always....Jan

To begin anew!

Well, here we go again. We start a new life once again in Utah. This time though, the climate is somewhat cooler and colder. The atmosphere is family and fun. We know more people and are with relatives. Sounds good right?

Well, let's just say that our attitudes will need adjustment to say the least. In order for things to be different than last time we set our sights on the Beehive State. I'm hoping that this time around we can do some of the things we want to do. But, as I sit here and type these words, I am struck with a thought, what makes me think things will be any different here than where we are sitting at this immediate moment! As I lay on a couch in San Luis Obispo, CA, why should things change? Yes, we are moving AGAIN. Yes, we are going on our own AGAIN... So, what's new this time? Our attitude is much the same as it was before. We haven't changed our minds on what we want. Much to my surprise, I don't seem to be going forward, but rather kind of sidestepping once again. I feel a bit of rebellion and frustration coming on. So what makes things different? What do I think I can do this time? Become a good little girl by going to church each week and reading my scriptures? Ok, maybe I'm being a bit sarcastic, just a tad even. I'm trying to fool myself into thinking I'm gonna change?

It can happen. I can do these things I've promised so many times I would do. I don't mean to belittle the ideas of my lifestyle but sometimes it comes down to how simple it is. I can try to sugarcoat my life and make everything look perfect when lets face it, at this time, it isn't perfect. I suppose it never really is. I'm not being down trodden on my statement and I'm not stating it for a woah is me or poor me feeling. I'm trying to look things up as they are at the moment. My belief is intact of how I feel about my faith. I have a thorough knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I've never really lost that. Perhaps I think I can change at the last minute and request bedside forgiveness? Maybe I'm just kidding myself that when we make this move, I can change over night. Other people have. Look at Saul when he became Paul, or Alma the Younger, becoming a full witness for Heavenly Father. I'm reaching out I know. I made a new page on Facebook. I'm getting my own life back and being able to have more freedom. Perhaps I take it too far and disappoint myself and others around me? 

No, I think not. I know that I've done some silly things none of which I cannot be forgiven for. None of which I can be truly shamed for. Perhaps I give myself too much leverage but I know that I can get my life back. I want to at least. I want to do what's right and begin anew as I mentioned earlier? Yes, I think I can. Thomas the Engine said that as he climbed the big hill for the first time, struggling with his load. He made it to the top. He was determined to. I know I've got some issues to separate out and some reality to face. I've spent too many years on this earth not to see that for myself. I love my family here in CA. I'm going to miss the kids and grandkids but I can visit them right! Just don't burn the bridges as I go. I realize that I have things to square away. Habits to kick and some good ways to pick up again. So, what stops me? Why! Can I journalize that? Or, do I continue to pretend that I can do what I want. Defiance is what I'm doing right now. Every time I go out for a vapor, or test my limits, am I doing it for the last time? Am I telling myself to quit? Well, not yet and lets be honest ok? I'm not ready to yet. That doesn't mean in the next few months of my life I won't be. I'm going to work in that direction again. This time, I do want the perfect life. The pictorial white picket fence and apron on the front. Pictorially, not on me. Just the idea that things can get better. That I can do and choose the right. It's that simple isn't it?