Where have I been?

Sometimes, I forget why I'm doing these things. The feeling of giving up overwhelms me. The expectations that I set for myself. The wanting to do the right thing and yet...the strange feeling of anger and frustration for making mistakes and at the same time, the same feelings for trying to do what's right. I know Satan is really working on me right now and I know he is aware that I have things to accomplish. I guess the reason I slide is because he knows my weaknesses.

I guess a part of me wants to see the so called reality of how things can be. My issue or maybe it's just an excuse? Sitting in the middle of "happy Valley USA, aka Utah, there is an enormous smattering of members of the LDS church. I sometimes look around and wonder how in the world these people can go day to day ignoring the reality of the blessings that they have...RIGHT HERE! Why are they hesitant to share it with others and more importantly, why is the inactivity here not supported more fully. As a partially active member for whatever reason, I can see both sides of the coin. What I notice is the difference in spirit of the people here. Some go about their day taking care of their outwardly obligations and maintaining a front of doing what they have to do rather than shining in spirit where you can feel comfort in their presence. They quietly complain of the admonishments of the church leadership and decide to do what they feel is right for them or easier to accomplish.

Then I see the true caring and sincerity of most of the people I've met or observed. Wonderful people I've met online or out and about. The quiet helpers and givers who do in humbleness, and struggle with their own issues in silence. They show sacredness in our meetings and humility during the sacrament. They honor and follow our leaders without question. 

I know that the human nature of man is to judge and break down those who have emotional, physical or spiritual issues that we know nothing about. They end up being the strong because of their daily struggles and reliance on our Heavenly Father. They are the meek, the blessed.

Heavenly Father always seems to be there. He knows I struggle with weaknesses physically, emotionally and spiritually. He knows I want to do the right thing.  Because of the mixed bag of humanity here in Utah, it is easy to make excuses. For us to look upon anyone as being lessor than us is an abomination in the. Eyes if God. I know I need to look straight forward to gain my salvation and to also bring as many with me as I can. I know my faith is being tested. I know also that it's up to me to change my attitude and to continue to persevere in righteousness. To be able to gain on my eternal progression.

My final plea is that we all continue in the eyes of the Lord and to see with our spiritual eyes rather than our physical eyes. To share our love of the Gospel and to bring those who are on the edge back into our midst. May the Lord bless each of us as we try to be a better person and a humble example of our religious beliefs...The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints needs our following to grow in humbleness and spirituality.

Compassion and other stuff

Today a very special man has passed, a great family member changes her life and I wake up to a loving reality...again.

My heart is so full of compassion, love and sadness. I also feel incredible amounts of the Holy Spirit. It is amazing how we can go on with life just observing how much things change in a moments notice. Leaders, family and friends' lives affect us in so many ways. We cannot fathom how much Heavenly Father sees when he looks upon us here on earth. I'm sure that the overwhelming feeling I have right now is a million fold for him. 

Knowing this, makes me humble for what I feel and the testimony I have of our Heavenly Father. I'm sure he is excited to receive Elder Perry into his midst. To have him share the gospel with those not fortunate enough to receive it here on earth. To also know that he is holding the hands of Aunt Beverly as she gets more and more confused on how to live and remember any and everything she does. And finally how he holds all of us in his busom when we need him most.

My heart swells with the truth of what we are so fortunate to have in our lives. Give and share compassionate service and love to those around you. Oh, and don't forget to share your testimony.

Compassion

I'm not sure if I'm the one to say this but here goes. We as a nation need to be more compassionate to others. We are all so busy that we don't make the time to encourage, inspire or help those around us. We need to share our love with those we meet so that it can grow. This last two weeks were hard for me and were it not for my and Gary's families, I don't think I would have made it.

Modish 15: 1 partially states "...having the bowels of mercy; being filled with compassion towards the children of men; standing betwixt them and justice; having broken the bands of death, taken upon himself their iniquity... Jesus Christ showed his compassion to us through his atoning sacrifice. We must try to be more conscious of out brothers and sisters. Those who need help and encouragement. I know I could have used some this week

But then, it's my fault as I never asked for the help. I know that I tend to assume that just because people know some about me, that doesn't mean I should expect that help if I don't ask. I guess because I was so busy being gone with my husband, that I should have shared the need so here I go. 

If I could get some prayers and encouragement, I would be so grateful. Heavenly Father has blessed me so much and I am so spoiled. Gary and I are rarely apart so of course, this is driving me crazy. He comes home Friday. Let's show him how grateful we are that he had a very successful surgery. He is my eternal mate and I love him so much. 

I am humbled and prayerful that you all will be blessed with what you need or require. May God's blessings be reaped upon you.. Always, Jan